“Nothing must be held sacred”

“Nothing must be held sacred. Question everything. God is not great, Jesus is not your lord, you are not disciples of any charismatic prophet. You are all human beings who must make your way through your life by thinking and learning, and you have the job of advancing humanity’s knowledge by winnowing out the errors of past generations and finding deeper understanding of reality. You will not find wisdom in rituals and sacraments and dogma, which build only self-satisfied ignorance, but you can find truth by looking at your world with fresh eyes and a questioning mind.”

Pharyngula, The Great Desecration

FYI: Roman Coins

~*~

Roman coins made of iron, despite their age, are worth about 5 cents apiece.

Just so you know.

The Great Microscope Revival

~*~ 

Today, Bob inadvertently triggered the Great Microscope Revival. 

Bob phoned in the morning asking if Nathan still had the microscope he had given as a gift for a birthday (it came as part of a set that included a telescope… the ‘scope’ set, I guess) and if it still worked. “Yes”, I said, and “I think so. Why?” 

“You’ll see when I get there.” 

Oh no. What wacky thing was Bob into now? 

I asked Nathan to get out his microscope, since we knew where it was. Except that it didn’t work and, apparently never had, as Nathan whined to me. File under P.O.S. along with the cheap plastic telescope with painted ‘chrome’ bits. 

Well, Bob was on his way to see whatever under a microscope and I knew we had a good, working one so off I was to the basement. I knew it was in a black backpack with Mickey Mouse on it and that the backpack was in a pink laundry basket. I’ve retained that knowledge for more than a year and a half… maybe I’m not losing my mind. (Okay, I am. Just not that bit yet.) Lo and behold, I found it almost immediately and on the top of a pile where it wouldn’t get crushed. 

Now the kids are excited.

This is almost as good as new toys. 

Emily insists on setting it up, taking the microscope from the backpack and removing the dustcover. Then a cleanup with the little cloth that came with their glasses. Pop in the eyepiece, plug it in and turn it on – voila! It works! 

They’re like puppies, all wriggly and shouting excitedly to each other. 

After a review of all the prepared slides (frog blood is still the coolest), which included a couple of new ones that Nathan had gotten with his crap set, Emily pulled out the blank slides and coverslips she had received for Christmas. An expedition to the pond was now in order and they’re off, feet tuck into mudboots, and then back before I can finish making one bed. 

I gave them a minimal introduction to slide preparation. I haven’t found the books yet that came with the microscope because I have forgotten which box they went into. They are there, somewhere. I’ll need a bit more time to root around for them because the slides we made this morning were only barely satisfactory. And we’ll need some dyes. And some of those slides with the little wells in them. Oh, and maybe a dissecting microscope that you can put a Petri dish on the platform…  

In the middle of this, Bob arrives. And what does he want to look at under the microscope? Allegedly, what he shows me are Roman coins which he wants to see more closely, since they are obviously quite worn. 

“Bob, you can’t look at those under the microscope. You won’t see anything.” 

“What? Why not?” 

Then follows a brief explanation of how a light microscope works and how it doesn’t. The kids have moved on making slides of hair and explore the difference of putting a drop of water with the hair or putting it dry on the slide. 

Bob is definitely disappointed. He mentions taking the coins to the Smithsonian to be identified. I tell him about seeing Roman coins for sale in Archeology Today for short dollars. He’d probably spend more money in gas going to D.C. than he’d recoup in any sale of three Roman coins.  

If they are Roman coins. They were about the size of a dime and one had a relief of a wolf with two babies, but all that could be is someone knowing a bit of Roman mythology and how to antique a bit of metal. Even if they are Roman, think how long Rome endured and how widespread the empire was – I doubt the coins are all that rare. 

Bob left, with his coins, off to some coin shop in Worcester. He had some other coins, mostly commemorative ones, from different countries from the early twentieth century and he wanted to see if they were worth something. I’ll be curious to see what becomes of the Roman coins. 

The kids, however, weren’t interested in the coins at all. A second expedition had them outside gathering more material to view. They came back with more pond water, a brown leaf and some mud and set about making more slides. 

About this time I discovered something very interesting. We could use a digital camera to take photos through the microscope by holding the camera lens to the eyepiece. It’s a bit tricky since it’s not meant for doing that and you have to hold the camera just right, but the pictures did show clearly what you saw through the eyepiece. 

Okay, I was more fascinated by that than the kids. I left them to their experimenting and resumed making beds and folding laundry. Every now and again I heard Nathan talking about being scientists and I know that the microscope won’t be put away until the basement room is ready for it as I had planned. They’re having too much fun exploring.  

Is It Time for an Overhaul?

~*~ 

Today’s the day – yep, it’s life overhaul time.

And no, it’s not an impulsive or spontaneous decision. Frankly it’s been churning through my head for years. I’ve read about it, reflected on it and practiced at it (that’s another way of explaining failed attempts) – since college – turning 21 – having a baby – burying a sister – having another baby – building a house – turning 40…

All these events in my life, and more, that I’ve thought, this is it. Now my life will change. Now I will… Do all the things that I keep dreaming about: start exercising, get organized, go back to school, plant a garden, write a book, lose 20 pounds and on and on.

But none of that has happened.

Oh, I’ve done things. I handle those emergencies as they pop up. At least until they aren’t critical and I can ignore them again and get anesthetized in a book or TV show.

Otherwise I’ve lived passively, taking things as they coming, drifting.

You don’t get where you want to go by drifting though. Yes, you get somewhere and sometimes it can be good and you think, this is cool but I wanted to go here.

Guess the auto/road metaphor is going to come into play.

If I’m the car and my life is a road, then drifting is a lot like driving without a map. Sometimes you find some gems just taking a drive and sometimes you get where you want to be through dumb luck but mostly you drive through industrial parks, or down streets where people leave old cars and refrigerators in the front yard or, even worse, you find yourself in some slum during a gang war. Any way you’re not where you want to be.

Drifting is easy however. It doesn’t take much energy or thought. It can be pleasant. It can be numbing – which is good for when you don’t want to face all the negative aspects of drifting.

For me, drifting is grey and filled with guilt and anxiety. I’m stuck in the mud in the middle of nowhere, alone and without a map.

Well, I’ve had enough! I want to travel the scenic routes. I want to plan my itineraries, get where I’m going and stop driving in circles.

~*~

I did a Google search on the definition of overhaul and found this rather fitting definition among all the ones that I expected:

overhaul: to dismantle the thing; and to reassemble it after reconditioning or replacing its components so that the useful life of the thing is comparable to its useful life when it was new.

To paraphrase and mix it with my metaphor: It’s time to take apart my life, examine it, repair the worn out bits, replace the not-working bits and put myself back together, refreshed and shiny once more.  

Overhaulin’ is about fixin’ what ain’t working and keepin’ what is. 

It’s easy enough for me to run down a list of what isn’t working in my life. I dwell on that topic enough to drive myself blue and whiny daily, but there’s a lot of good in my life as well – a lot – and, for a twist, I’m going to start this overhaul somewhere far more positive: what’s the good in my life? what’s worth keeping? 

The “whole” of me is far greater than the “parts” and the “parts” are infinite. 

But I’m getting ahead of myself. If I’m going to take apart my life, I need to know what parts make up the whole of me. The “parts” are going to have to be pretty broad in category. I know once I start looking at these parts or categories I’ll see ways of breaking them down further and further, but I don’t want to get bogged down in minutiae. So I need to define the parts of my life specific enough to be able to determine concrete changes for them, but broad enough to encompass the majority of my life.

I’ve got some thinking to do. 

Grr. (whining to follow)

I’m frustrated with myself. I’m a human watching, a human dreaming, but never a human doing. 

I think and I think and I think. What do I do? I do laundry when there are no clean clothes. I wash dishes when the paper plates run out. I do volunteer work for an organization I don’t believe in because I couldn’t come up with a nice way to say NO. 

I have great ideas that I never follow up on. I know I can’t make all my ideas a reality, but not even one. I’ve had the same To Do List for the last month. It still isn’t done. 

Who cares if it’s sunny today? I feel gray with a chance of showers.

Busy, busy, busy

It’s been a busy week. We had a Nor’easter on Monday and school was cancelled. I started my new diet on Monday. And I’ve also been considering a new blog focused on diet and exercise.

Jay and I have been looking into refinancing our house, since our mortgage is unbelievable. The problem is that this is a new house and a new mortgage. We’ve no equity to speak of and our home has actually declined in value due to the fluctuations of the real estate market. I spent hours yesterday gathering financial data to prove how much of our own money we put into the house (a lot!).

I didn’t think I’d have to pull finance stuff until tax time, which I will be doing ASAP because we are expecting a sizable refund.

No writing this week to speak of. It’s made my To Do list, but it just hasn’t happened. I have decided to focus on Jolaklir the Dragon and work on plotting it in full. I’ve a few scenes written and ideas are still coming to me. The problem is… well, it’s going to be BIG and I had wanted to start with a smaller novel first. But this is the one that’s on my mind.

How to shed fat… maybe

I’m contemplating The South Beach Diet. I don’t actually have a lot of experience dieting. I was a stick-girl growing up – even voted thinnest girl at Scout camp, so I never concerned myself with what I ate.

But now I’ve hit forty. And I’ve had two kids. And the metabolism has definitely slowed waaay down. I’m 25 pounds more than I’m comfortable with.

I don’t want to do the whole diet thing where you try a million wacky diet, lose some weight and then put it all back on plus some. I want something that works the first time and that I can easily adapt for a life long change.

Cutting out refined carbs, as well as sugar, and focusing on lean protein, veggies, fruits and whole grains seems like a healthy prescription for me.

And exercise. Yep, gotta do that too. I know it makes me feel good when I exercise and that’s a bonus. I just hate going outside when it’s cold. I won’t spend the money on a gym membership. I’ll figure that out.

I’ve tried watching my calories before, but that really sucks writing everything down. I always give up by dinner. It’s so hard estimating what I’ve had for dinner, especially where we often cook from scratch.

Giving up bread is going to be a challenge. I love bread. And bagels. And cookies.

We’ll see what happens. Can’t hurt to try, at least.

P.S.

Dial-up sucks.

You knew this but need the affirmation

Show, Don’t Tell

I’ve been reflecting on my resolutions for the new year, but haven’t determined on any specific item yet. Part of me wants to revamp my entire life, because despite all the good in my life (and there is an abundance), I am not especially happy. My inner daemon tells me that this is just my blues influencing my thinking. And yet my blues are contradictory. They tell me that it’s too much to try and that I’ve had all these thoughts and plans before and they’ve come to naught and that I should just accept my life as it is just as they tell me to scrap everything and start anew.

Well, isn’t that depressing? And tempting.

But I don’t want to feel blue anymore. I don’t want to be grossed out by my own midsection. I don’t want to keep saying, “Today, I’m going to write,” and then not do it. I don’t want to be ashamed anymore of my house, my body, my lack of accomplishments.

Ugh. Enough whining. DO IT ALREADY.

What works for me: a plan. The days that I sit down and physical write out, “Today, I’m going to…” then things happen. I need to be careful not to plan too much to do. I’ve driven myself into a frenzy more than once trying to get too much accomplished. But the days where I think in the morning that maybe I’ll do this or do that, I forget it all by the time I’m done with my shower and I sit at the computer and play online.

Shit. I can’t keep writing this crap. It’s the same thing over and over.

My life is a bad novel sometimes. I’m forever telling and not showing.

It’s time to show, don’t tell.

Beland Septic

Driving behind a black and yellow septic truck on I290 the other day, I noticed their tag line: Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels.