Busy, busy, busy

It’s been a busy week. We had a Nor’easter on Monday and school was cancelled. I started my new diet on Monday. And I’ve also been considering a new blog focused on diet and exercise.

Jay and I have been looking into refinancing our house, since our mortgage is unbelievable. The problem is that this is a new house and a new mortgage. We’ve no equity to speak of and our home has actually declined in value due to the fluctuations of the real estate market. I spent hours yesterday gathering financial data to prove how much of our own money we put into the house (a lot!).

I didn’t think I’d have to pull finance stuff until tax time, which I will be doing ASAP because we are expecting a sizable refund.

No writing this week to speak of. It’s made my To Do list, but it just hasn’t happened. I have decided to focus on Jolaklir the Dragon and work on plotting it in full. I’ve a few scenes written and ideas are still coming to me. The problem is… well, it’s going to be BIG and I had wanted to start with a smaller novel first. But this is the one that’s on my mind.

How to shed fat… maybe

I’m contemplating The South Beach Diet. I don’t actually have a lot of experience dieting. I was a stick-girl growing up – even voted thinnest girl at Scout camp, so I never concerned myself with what I ate.

But now I’ve hit forty. And I’ve had two kids. And the metabolism has definitely slowed waaay down. I’m 25 pounds more than I’m comfortable with.

I don’t want to do the whole diet thing where you try a million wacky diet, lose some weight and then put it all back on plus some. I want something that works the first time and that I can easily adapt for a life long change.

Cutting out refined carbs, as well as sugar, and focusing on lean protein, veggies, fruits and whole grains seems like a healthy prescription for me.

And exercise. Yep, gotta do that too. I know it makes me feel good when I exercise and that’s a bonus. I just hate going outside when it’s cold. I won’t spend the money on a gym membership. I’ll figure that out.

I’ve tried watching my calories before, but that really sucks writing everything down. I always give up by dinner. It’s so hard estimating what I’ve had for dinner, especially where we often cook from scratch.

Giving up bread is going to be a challenge. I love bread. And bagels. And cookies.

We’ll see what happens. Can’t hurt to try, at least.

P.S.

Dial-up sucks.

You knew this but need the affirmation

Show, Don’t Tell

I’ve been reflecting on my resolutions for the new year, but haven’t determined on any specific item yet. Part of me wants to revamp my entire life, because despite all the good in my life (and there is an abundance), I am not especially happy. My inner daemon tells me that this is just my blues influencing my thinking. And yet my blues are contradictory. They tell me that it’s too much to try and that I’ve had all these thoughts and plans before and they’ve come to naught and that I should just accept my life as it is just as they tell me to scrap everything and start anew.

Well, isn’t that depressing? And tempting.

But I don’t want to feel blue anymore. I don’t want to be grossed out by my own midsection. I don’t want to keep saying, “Today, I’m going to write,” and then not do it. I don’t want to be ashamed anymore of my house, my body, my lack of accomplishments.

Ugh. Enough whining. DO IT ALREADY.

What works for me: a plan. The days that I sit down and physical write out, “Today, I’m going to…” then things happen. I need to be careful not to plan too much to do. I’ve driven myself into a frenzy more than once trying to get too much accomplished. But the days where I think in the morning that maybe I’ll do this or do that, I forget it all by the time I’m done with my shower and I sit at the computer and play online.

Shit. I can’t keep writing this crap. It’s the same thing over and over.

My life is a bad novel sometimes. I’m forever telling and not showing.

It’s time to show, don’t tell.